But puns aplenty so I don't care.
The Sun has the best one because it works soooo many levels:
TOP OF THE FLOPS
SPLAT NAV AT THE READY (Daily Mail - but what does a Sat Nav have to do with diving?!)
SMACKDOWN (Daily Mirror - not even a real pun)
My pun ideas:
SHALLOW DAL (If 'Dal' is an acceptable shortened form of 'Darren'...prob not, eh?)
Or maybe even the title of this very blog post...?