Pedantic puns

I have just spotted this fantastic pun online, which will hopefully appear in tomorrow's Sunday Telegraph:

GRAMMAR VIGILANTES GO TO WAR ON ERROR

It's the headline of a brilliant feature on 'outlaw editing', where pedantic grammar freaks make it their mission to correct bad spelling and grammar on public signage, even by defacing them with marker pens and Tipp-Ex. Well worth a read.

My pun idea:

GRAMMARFFITI

Swimmer stalker

Olympic swimming legend Michael Phelps is allegedly being 'stalked' by Hollywood actress Lindsay Lohan:

GOD PHELP HIM!

...hollers the Daily Mirror.

My pun idea:

SWIMMER PHELPS DOESN'T NEED A LILO

Good twin, bad twin

The Daily Mirror so far appears to be leading the way in our daily pun celebration. Today, it proves that sometimes the simplest pun can often be the most effective. The newspaper reported on a less-than-successful dude who had been posing as his more-respected twin to con old folks out of cash:

TWINPERSONATOR

Sums it up perfectly.

My pun idea:

TWINBECILE

Puns and art

Artist creates masterpieces using a Biro pen...

(This is meant to be the Queen by the way)

The Sun and the Daily Mirror both go with the same headline:

BICASSO

This is, apparently, the artist's nickname. Well, it is now anyway.

This art-related pun reminded me of a recent protest over pay at the National Gallery in London. As I strolled across Trafalgar Square past the various picket lines, I was delighted to read the protestors' placards:

SHOW ME THE MONET

STOP TAKING THE PICASSO

...and one other really good one that I can't remember for the life of me.

Photo from the Daily Mail

Eggstraordinary

Hen lays big egg. Bring on the puns...


The Daily Mirror pulls out the stops by adding weight to a classic pun with the headline:

APOLOGIES FOR CRACKING THE OLDEST YOLK IN THE WORLD...BUT THIS REALLY IS EGGSTRAORDINARY

The Daily Mail attempts to recycle the same pun, but spells it wrong:

EGGSTRORDINARY! THE EGG THAT IS FOUR TIMES THE NORMAL SIZE

Have you seen any other ace puns today? Or could you have come up with a better headline for the big egg story? Comments encouraged!

Photo from the Southern Daily Echo.