Punny rabbit

Not such a nice story today, with the photographic tale of a heron drowning a little bunny rabbit before gulping it down in one.

Nice work by the Mirror though, with:

WATERSHIP DROWN

My pun idea:

RAB-BIT OF A MOUTHFUL

Firemen rescue branch from tree

An absolutely brilliant story in the Daily Mirror today, about a fire brigade scaling a tree to rescue a stranded iguana after receiving calls from various members of the public. However, when they got to the stricken creature, they realised it was just a branch which looked a tiny bit like an iguana. Great pun too:

ONE BIGUANA MISTAKE

My pun idea:

REPTILE AND ERROR

or

TWIGUANA (this isn't entirely original - The Sun's headline for this story is DIDN'T TWIG IT WAS IG)

High Fash-pun

A couple of models take a tumble on the catwalk whilst showcasing Prada's latest high heels.

I like the Daily Mirror's headline, which is:

THE PRADA THEY COME...THE PRADA THEY FALL

My pun idea:

PRADICULOUS

or

STILETT-NOOOO

Labour Punference

Gordon Brown yesterday made 'the speech of his life', with a little help from his wife Sarah. Front page punnage today, with the Daily Mirror going with:

GORDON'S WIFE-LINE

The Sun goes with:

GORDON GETS THE KISS OF WIFE

My pun idea:

PRIME-MISSUS-TER

Poo do you think you are?

Newsreader Natasha Kaplinsky has been photographed scooping up her doggie's do-do under the watchful gaze of two mounted police officers.

The Daily Mirror:

HERE IS THE POOS

My pun idea:

NEWSREADER NATASHA'S LATEST SCOOP

Not really a pun I know...

There are an incredible 91 comments to this story on the Daily Mail's website.

Pun dancing

The Daily Mirror takes great delight in exclusively revealing that Strictly Come Dancing hopeful Cherie Lunghi is a trained dancer:

STRICTLY CON DANCING

My pun idea:

WALTZ ARE THEY PLAYING AT?

Pun-ey markets

Anarchy on the money markets and the plummeting value of banks' shares is all over the news today. The front page of the Daily Mirror screams:

HELLIFAX

My pun idea:

BARC-LESS BANK

Postpun

A cat in Dorset has developed an unusual habit of joining a postman on his bicycle delivery rounds. That's pretty much the essence of this story. The Daily Mirror's pun (and the Daily Telegraph's online - go broadsheets!):

POSTMAN CAT

My pun idea

NEXT STRAY DELIVERY (however, doesn't really work cos the cat ain't a stray...)

Pig-pun

Scientists have discovered that, millions of years ago, hog-like creatures called 'lystrosaurs' ruled the earth.



The Sun's headline:

JURASSIC PORK

My pun idea:

PREHISTOR-OINK

They are getting worse and worse...

(Please note, the above image is NOT a lystrosaur...!)

Epunomist

Highbrow punnage today, with the Economist reporting on the speculation surrounding the health of North Korea's dictator, Kim Jong Il:

KIM JONG ILL OR KIM JONG WELL?

I'm liking that muchly.

My pun idea:

SICKTATOR?

Pun-apple

Apple has launched the thinnest ever iPod. The new iPod Nano is more than 20% smaller than the last one and is just 6.2millimetres thick.

The Sun goes with:

SLiGHT POD

My pun idea:

NAN-OH MY GOODNESS, IT'S THIN!

Oh my goodness that's awful, please come up with some better ones!

Pundaloo

A humble curry house in Whitechapel, east London, has made it into the top ten of a posh food guide. A meal at the New Tayyabs restaurant costs about fifteen quid, compared to £90 at the number one eatery in the guide. The Sun does a good job of the headline, with

SECOND TO NAAN

My pun idea:

KORMA BLIMEY (but this is definitely not original)

So how about:

THE SPICE IS RIGHT (criiinge, but it DOES work on a couple of levels...)

So let's here your curry puns!!

Share the puns!

A computer glitch at the London Stock Exchange yesterday halted trading on what would have been one of the busiest days ever, following the US government's bail-out of mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. The Daily Mirror won my heart, AGAIN, with:

STOCKS AND SCARES

My pun idea:

THE OOPSIE 100

I AM PROUD OF THIS ONE!!

Pasta pun

The cost of spaghetti has doubled in a year as prices rise at the fastest rate since 1988. Noooo - I love pasta!

So does the Daily Mirror, with this pun:

PASTA JOKE

My pun idea:

SPAGHETTI BOLOG-RAISE

or maybe

FARCEFALLE

Petrol pun

Weekend pun...

A computer games company caused mayhem in north London on Friday by giving away £20,000 of petrol to drivers as a promotional giveaway. But the bonanza drew hundreds of drivers from miles around and brought morning rush-hour traffic to a standstill. Local residents WERE NOT impressed, thus the headline in yesterday's Daily Mirror:

A FUELISH STUNT

My pun idea:

DUMBLEADED

Traffic misery for many I am sure. But LOTS of publicity for computer game in question. Hmmm...

Superhero stupidness

Marks and Spencer apologised today to a mother who rang up their customer helpline to complain that her seven-year-old son's Superman playsuit was faulty. She was shocked to be informed that the boy would have to speak for himself because of the Data Protection Act.

The Sun's headline:

SUPERMAD

My pun idea:

MARKS AND FARCE

Flopping hell!

The world record for the highest shallow dive has been broken by crazy dude Darren Taylor (aka Professor Splash), who belly flopped from a height of over 35ft into a paddling pool filled with just 12 inches of water. NUTTER!

But puns aplenty so I don't care.

The Sun has the best one because it works soooo many levels:

TOP OF THE FLOPS

Other puns:

SPLAT NAV AT THE READY (Daily Mail - but what does a Sat Nav have to do with diving?!)

SMACKDOWN (Daily Mirror - not even a real pun)

My pun ideas:

SHALLOW DAL (If 'Dal' is an acceptable shortened form of 'Darren'...prob not, eh?)

FLOPS AWAY!

Or maybe even the title of this very blog post...?

Will he stay or will he go?

Kevin Keegan is on the brink of leaving Newcastle United. At time of writing, he is currently 'in talks' with the board.

The Daily Mirror chooses this as its lead story, with the headline:

THE KKING IS DEAD

The puns continue inside with:

RUN OUT OF TOON

Another great football-related pun in the Daily Star today, following the news that Manchester City has been bought by Abu Dhabi squillionaires:

WE'LL SHEIK UP THE PREM

I am feeling rather uncreative at the moment so can't think of my own!

Political pun

Over to the American presidential election, and Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin has been all over the news today after admitting that her 17-year-old daughter, Bristol, is preggers.

Rather than focusing on this scandalous revelation, the fashion team from the Times2 supplement analyse Sarah Palin's style and image:

PALIN INTERESTING

My pun idea:

PALIN: POLL TO POLL

Yes, I know this is rubbish. So feel free to suggest some better alternatives, especially for the 'Bristol is pregnant' angle...

Chubby cops

The Lib Dems reckon fat police officers to shape up or ship out. The Daily Mirror triumphs again with:

END OF THE BEAT BLOBBY?

My headline idea:

THE FAT BLUE LINE