Glas-pun-bury cancelled

Glastonbury 2012 has been called off because all the portable lavatories (and police) are going to be in London for the Olympic Games. I spotted a couple of decent puns on this story today...

My favourite headline was Londonist's:

GLASTONBURY FINALLY FACES ITS PORTALOO

While the Guardian went with:

WHY GLASTONBURY 2012 IS GOING DOWN THE PAN 

*update* new Guardian pun on the network front:

My pun:

GLASTONBURY LOO-SES OUT TO OLYMPICS

Think poo can do any better? Or have you spotted a better pun? Comment away!

Obi pun kenobi

The Guardian reported today that Carrie Fisher, who played Princess Leia in the Star Wars films, took cocaine on set during filming of The Empire Strikes Back. Disgraceful, Fisher, disgraceful.

My pun:

THE EMPIRE STRIKES CRACK

Athletes obviously having too much pun

Reuters is reporting that thousands of flushed condoms are threatening to choke the Commonwealth Games village's drainage system.

My pun:

CONDOMWEALTH GAMES

Obvious, but had to be pun.

A pun-presidented tackle

The Bolivian president Evo Morales has been caught on film kneeing a football opponent in the groin, reports the Guardian.

Plenty of pun opportunities here:

UNBOLIVIANABLE

BALL-IVIA

Go crazy in the comments, pun-lovers...

Willi-pun Shakespeare

It has pun to my attention that an animated film - seemingly based entirely on a pun - is to be unleashed in our cinemas next February:

GNOMEO AND JULIET

This is NOT a joke. Don't believe me? Then watch the trailer. The characters are voiced by James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, Michael Caine, Jason Statham, Maggie Smith, Patrick Stewart, Ashley Jensen, Stephen Merchant, Matt Lucas, Jim Cummings, Julie Walters, Richard Wilson, Ozzy Osbourne...you catch my drift. It's gonna be big. And all because someone came up with a rather weak Shakespeare pun.

So I thought it might be rather amusing if we pitched our own Bard/pun films. Here are mine:

RAMLET - in which an animated, uncastrated male sheep exacts revenge on his farmyard buddies and goes a bit crazy.

MUCH ADO ABOUT PUFFIN - in which four animated puffins get ever so confused about who is supposed to be in love with whom.

Please suggest more!